Standstill

i pressed delete again
the computer asked if i was sure
well am i ?
everything thats missing
everything i've been trying to get back
its not here
and i wonder if thats the only thing that stays the same
the only thing in life that doesn't change
life moves on and doesnt stop for no one
i've been at this standstill
like the ones in movies
where everyone rushes around you
and yur in the middle
still slowly moving through crowds
slowly moving through life

Day 1

Breath

silent walls keep hidden secrets
but they never respond
never react to the emotions you're feeling -- krd__*

my heads pounding with regret
words cant explain
mouths dont move
we dont speak
we just breath
breath in the silence
hoping to exhale
whats just happened
my hand wants to reach over
to the nearest object throw it across the room
hear it smash against the floor
broken falling to pieces
like me
but i don't move
and if it weren't for you
words would fly through every corner
bounce of every wall
i would say it all
but i just sit i just breath
holding in everything

Secret in a Bottle

There's so much that you don't say
so much you keep hidden away
you're like a bottle off in the sea
alone and silent holding
the secret messege inside
away from the damadge
i could be

Good Day ; Bad Days

I don't understand what happens
from one day to the next
we get along so well only to finish
in a messy stupid argument
a month long silence
only to come back
right where we left off
we've finished and started
but this new distance
seems permenant
have we run out of time
run out of reasons why this is
what it's been
a couple good days
and a million Bad

Sorry's

we've apologized so many times
sorrys are starting to sound like our hello's
your lips no longer sweet
but bitter with regret
your eyes distant
looking at everything but me

The Sound Goodbye's Make : Part 2

life has taken its unsuspected turns
goodbyes are due soon
don't think i'll be saying goodbye to you
winter nights will turn to spring mornings
and summer afternoons
the sun sets and by dusk im gone
by then ill be so far from home
from this place so many miles away
without a tear shed 
I've been trying to run
running far away from the past
and it may not be the best choice
but at this point
its the only option i have
"Maybe easiest way for it to happen
Is if I leave
I’ll come back sometime
Come to see if you’ve become
The person you wanted to be "
 
i swear i can tell the future - April poem 2009: the sound goodbye's make

Chase me forever

& being closed off never had its advantages
so i've started on a journey
on the pursuit of happiness
but silly me i've wasted my time
trying to fnd it in places
it would never be

So far

Only awkward stares
only silent tears
we've made it this far
but where do we go from here
too many hurt feelings
too many words unspoken
by the fear
the one we hide
you will never see me break
so i had to make the words cry

Goodnight Love

how do you escape a memory
make it past the time
where i was yours
and you were mine
summer nights
palm trees
fireflies
sweet dreams
goodnight love
until morning

Progress

No progress
just distance
far away
goodbye love
goodbye us
i wont miss you
when you're gone

Words

word after endless word
but nothing makes sense
nothing comes together
 need some type of insight
little yellow light bulb glow
to many words scrambling
love hate regret
apologize forgive forget
goodbye distance
" i realize " and kisses
everything gets old
everything is old i need something new
something else to do

Maroon 5

"Built a wall around my heart, never let it fall apart. but strangely i wish secretly it would fall down while i'm asleep. if you dont know then you cant care and you show up but you're not there "

Table of Contents - 4

April - Best friends for Never
May - the Dark Ages
June - Realizing
July - "And as quick as it came, it went"
Auqust - Raw
September- Finding myself
October - Happy
November - the Past
December - Distance

Sex

your finger tips
how softly the slip
around my hips
your soft lips
touch mine
my eyes close and we fall slowly
against the pillow case
i feel the warmth of your
chest pressed against
mine we play cat and mouse beneath the sheets
and find ourselves at places
we never thought we'd meet
fingers linger
toes touch
lips kiss
never say to much