War with you

i fought through everything

this was a promise i wish

i had never kept

lies entangled in truths

don't know how to tell

which from who

from you ? which i have

found so hard to trust

so hard to follow

we've fought too many battles

I'm losing ammo

your losing ambition 

our love is fading

there's no need for waiting

when the war with you is over

Shatterd Mirror

i shattered into millions of pieces for so long

laying hopelessly across rough ground

waiting for something to come around

pick up the pieces one by one

close every crack every wound i ever had

some parts are missing

some parts are gone

but I'm not as fragile as before

try to break me again

lets see this time who'll fall

Letting Go

theres always a promise that i can't keep
something i think that's to impossible to reach
to many things are constantly changing
and sorrys and forevers got lost in transition
so were awoken by screams
because somewhere in the mess
you lost me
you're wins always seem bittersweet
something lost and another gained
one door slams shut while another opens
we're constantly weighing in the bad
struggling with the pain
but soon you'll see
love and happiness is not far away

Perception

I overlooked any imperfections because

I was still holding onto what I had created you to be

I created the perfect us

But there is a difference between
the truth and a lie

while one is reality

the other was a figment of my imagination

I saw past everything that was terribly wrong

Everything that was falling apart

And I only saw what I wanted

So the ending was not what I had expected

Because I was not seeing it for what it truely was

I made it seem so perfect

I had made it seem-unbreakable

But there it was falling apart and already

I had forgiven you

Because I did not want to lose
what for so long

I had worked so hard to make

And now thinking about it realizing

How stupid, how naïve, how blind I was

It shows me how this wasn’t supposed to work at all

I forced something that was not supposed to happen

And I’m done looking at what I had imagined

Its time to step back into reality
& see things for what they really are

Pennsylvania Poems

Handling it : Openinq up

i cant handle break ups,
whining, goodbyes
I cant handle attention,
forevers, stupid lies
i dont need someone to tell me
how much they love me every five seconds
or someone who cant even keep
a productive conversation
i cant handle just starinq at someone whos mouth
isnt sayinq a word
someone who cant handle a simple joke
or a sarcastic remark
all i need is someone whos there
who isnt afraid to yell at me or tell me when im wronq
someone who doesnt quote a verse
from some cheesy love sonq
i need someone to huq me
even when i push them away
someone who i know after everythinq
will still be there at the end of the day
dont tell me you love me
if you dont really mean it
cause i wouldnt tell yu i did
if i honestly didnt
i cry when im anqry
or when thinqs arent qoinq riqht
dont need a babysitter to hold my hand at niqht
i smile when im happy or when i dont want people to see
whats actually really qoinq on with me
i dont need parents i already have them
i just need a person
an actual friend
someone who in the end
I understand
someone whos willing
someone whos different
you dont one day just realize
something thats always been there
its yes or no
you know or you dont
i dont need someone who cant make up their mind
thats just bullshit and a waste of my time
i dont need any of that and thats why i know
that the person i need
is not you