OMG

save me,

i've been falling
forever it seems
with no end
i took a turn
found myself somewhere
hurt and alone
seeking what i need the most
ive been falling forever
waiting for something
that i know will never arrive
but what can i do
i need someone
i need you to
save me

This is it

this picture reminded me of Daniel 

feels like a Sunday morning 

slowly the end is creeping in 

lights fading from the room

giving me this goodbye feeling 

lately my worlds been spinning 

for how long i've been waiting

here on my messy bed i've been sitting 

i've been replaying everything

stop rewind pause play

yeah...

this is it

what we're so afraid of

we fear love
because love means being vulnerable
being vulnerable shows weakness
and weakness is pain
and in pain we are hopeless
drown in sorrows
in helpless hopeless tears
of things that will never end
we fight it the idea of feelings
and accepting
because accepting the fear
the pain accepting the troubles
accepting love means that
we are doing something that is beyond our control
it'll drive us all crazy
accepting all this
but with love we also need to learn to let go
because those who sit in the past
will stay there as the world moves on
changing while they are forever the same

the fear

"No I'm not the man i used to be lately see you met me at an interesting time and if my past is any sign of your future you should be warned before I let you inside" John Mayer

words can only say so much
actions are what we are waiting for
its the little things you do
that pull me through
and all the big things that i adore
love a word we tend to shy away from
means so much but said so quick
feels used and jaded
somehow the meaning of the word
became so unappreciated
id rather break your heart a thousand times
before i ever saw mine shatter and fall
maybe its the fear of getting hurt
that makes it better to feel nothing at all

Replacement girlfriend - Le Love

Makes it hard to hope that it won't be the same story the next time. The next time you talk to a somewhat cute nice guy you find yourself wondering how long he would stick around before disappearing like the rest. Yet somehow I still hope to have a real relationship where I am not just a temporary replacement where I am the real thing that actually matters.

Shontelle

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know ♥

perfect

we stumble to find the perfect words
but i am no longer looking
words are over rated
just show me
show me everything
the world our love
our life show me everything
i need a perfect day

Breath

silent walls keep hidden secrets
but they never respond
never react to the emotions you're feeling -- krd__*

my heads pounding with regret
words cant explain
mouths dont move
we dont speak
we just breath
breath in the silence
hoping to exhale
whats just happened
my hand wants to reach over
to the nearest object throw it across the room
hear it smash against the floor
broken falling to pieces
like me
but i don't move
and if it weren't for you
words would fly through every corner
bounce of every wall
i would say it all
but i just sit i just breath
holding in everything

So far

Only awkward stares
only silent tears
we've made it this far
but where do we go from here
too many hurt feelings
too many words unspoken
by the fear
the one we hide
you will never see me break
so i had to make the words cry

Words

word after endless word
but nothing makes sense
nothing comes together
 need some type of insight
little yellow light bulb glow
to many words scrambling
love hate regret
apologize forgive forget
goodbye distance
" i realize " and kisses
everything gets old
everything is old i need something new
something else to do

Sex

your finger tips
how softly the slip
around my hips
your soft lips
touch mine
my eyes close and we fall slowly
against the pillow case
i feel the warmth of your
chest pressed against
mine we play cat and mouse beneath the sheets
and find ourselves at places
we never thought we'd meet
fingers linger
toes touch
lips kiss
never say to much

Where we were

we sat behind the trees

beneath the clouds

above the leaves

on the qrass

and stared at the city

as the lights turned on

and the sky went dark

Summer Twilight

I sat alone and watched as the sunset

fell behind the horizon

the summer breeze

smooth against my sweaty tanned skin

i reached over and placed my palm on the wet

brown sand

water rushed beneath my fingertips

and slid underneath my toes

it slowly creeped around my fingers falling back into place

with the rest of the ocean i pulled my hand back

where were you?

because you wasn't here

you wasn't with me

as salty water drops fell from the sky
i sat there in the summer twilight and cried

I don't Miss you

I was someone else for so long

i didn't know how to be myself

so i left everything behind

my old friends my old life

the old me the one I pretended to be

and now nothing bothers me

i don't miss you

I don't miss us

because i dont care anymore

i gave everyone a piece

of my life of my soul

but they all sucked it dry

they left me with hopes that

were never reached

i put it in all the work

to get nothing in return

no, i dont miss you at all

falling

before you fall

make sure yu know

if the qround is

stronq enouqh to

walk on

There's always two sides of a story

On the Outside

im a big girl
i can handle myself
dont be afraid to hurt me
cause i would never ask for yur help
qrow some balls
be a man
tell me wah yu really mean
dont suqar coat sad stories
so yu dont have to hurt me
theres never a qood way to break
bad news so dont try and catch
me let me fall
ill be up aqain soon


***

On the inside


im terrified of what ill find
in this deep dark forest of mine
one will shine but its so hard to find the liqht
when darkness clouds your mind
deeper in you go only to realize
its darker then it was before
its harder to move across
the bumpy hidden ground
its darkness all around
and where to go from here
i do not know
i havn't found a light
i havnt found anyone
worth qivinq it to

Pennsylvania Poems

Handling it : Openinq up

i cant handle break ups,
whining, goodbyes
I cant handle attention,
forevers, stupid lies
i dont need someone to tell me
how much they love me every five seconds
or someone who cant even keep
a productive conversation
i cant handle just starinq at someone whos mouth
isnt sayinq a word
someone who cant handle a simple joke
or a sarcastic remark
all i need is someone whos there
who isnt afraid to yell at me or tell me when im wronq
someone who doesnt quote a verse
from some cheesy love sonq
i need someone to huq me
even when i push them away
someone who i know after everythinq
will still be there at the end of the day
dont tell me you love me
if you dont really mean it
cause i wouldnt tell yu i did
if i honestly didnt
i cry when im anqry
or when thinqs arent qoinq riqht
dont need a babysitter to hold my hand at niqht
i smile when im happy or when i dont want people to see
whats actually really qoinq on with me
i dont need parents i already have them
i just need a person
an actual friend
someone who in the end
I understand
someone whos willing
someone whos different
you dont one day just realize
something thats always been there
its yes or no
you know or you dont
i dont need someone who cant make up their mind
thats just bullshit and a waste of my time
i dont need any of that and thats why i know
that the person i need
is not you

its always easier to fall apart

i struggle to hold back tears
fighting to come out
breakinq everythinq i tried to keep inside
memories of when
you jumped off that tree trying to fly
you thought you were a bird
memories of when
you crashed your car into a lampost
trying to make a u-turn
so you could come bakq to me
so you could say sorry
memories of when you first kissed me
and how surreal it felt
the summer air making it
sweet and sticky
memories of when you laughed
at my silly little jokes
that werent at all funny
but the memory that i cant
seem to forget is the one
where you walked out of the door
with a pained look on your face
barely whispering telling me
how we couldnt be toqether anymore
you always made me feel like
i was the most importent person in the world
but now i just want to hide in the corners of it
where no one could find me realizinq
alone in the darkness
its just easier to fall apart

piece of my puzzle

talkinq to you makes it harder to breath
words dont ever seem to come out riqht
and i thnk im pretty much makinq a fool of myself
buh that never really matters because you see me
you see beyond the wall i put up
wen im around yu my body seems to qet tense
and i qet butterflies that make me want to explode
and my body seems to shake
buh all of that doesnt matter because yu see beyond the nervous looks
you see me like no one can like no one before
you make me see life and love and
it doesnt matter that yur exactly the same way i am
because we fit like the last piece of my puzzle

---

and it never matterd wah yu sed or if yu ment it or not
because none of that chanqes how i felt