On my way home

because life comes as it wants
and regretting and never forgetting
leaves you stuck in a place
you don't want to be
it leaves you stranded
and slowly it waits for you to realize
patience is key
wait while life comes you're way
changes will occur
others stay the same
and where ever in the middle it ends
you'll be there back on the road
back on the fast paced life
and eventually with patience
you'll find your way home

Glimpse

while some are chapters
others are merely sentences
only a glimpse into the life
you missed
you were a mistake
so many i knew i shouldn't have made
but who could tell me i was wrong
when everything felt right
no one could split me apart
from what i had created
a fairy tale story
in a catastrophic world
where things
we're not supposed to end this way

Letting Go

theres always a promise that i can't keep
something i think that's to impossible to reach
to many things are constantly changing
and sorrys and forevers got lost in transition
so were awoken by screams
because somewhere in the mess
you lost me
you're wins always seem bittersweet
something lost and another gained
one door slams shut while another opens
we're constantly weighing in the bad
struggling with the pain
but soon you'll see
love and happiness is not far away

Sometime

and in between arguments and fights
some where in between distance and time
I lost you
between words
sometime when you never came back
somewhere between lies
I decided I was done

Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen

" but i was sure of something, too: it's a lot easier to be lost then found. It's the reason we're always searching, and rarely discovered---so many locks, not enough keys." pq 365

perfect

we stumble to find the perfect words
but i am no longer looking
words are over rated
just show me
show me everything
the world our love
our life show me everything
i need a perfect day

Where I was

your arms find their way around retraints
i tried to keep myself in a place
where i was safe away from you
but then your arms pull me in
and i look at you
and find myself somewhere I didn't want to be
curled up beside you your body like warm sheets
you protect me from the outside from everyone else
but yourself
i found myself here on the floor on this bed
and there you were arms pulling me in
lips so close i could hear your breathing
my heart beating, racing
and then i realized
i couldnt do this to myself
i was setting this up to be something else
something that it wasn't

Table of Contents - 5

April - Best friends for Never
May - The Dark Ages
June - Realizing
July - "And as quick as it came, it went"
Auqust - Raw
September- Finding myself
October - Happy
November - The Past
December - Distance
January - The Future

John Mayer

good to know its all a qame dissapointment has a name its heartbreak warfare - Heartbreak warfare

love is really nothing but a dream that keeps waking me - Edge of desire

If I were free

and if i could be free
from this world
from the things that hold me
how would it be ?
would i do what i please
i could walk through grassy fields
look at the birds and the bee's
i could lay there &
let the world take me in
i could sit on my rooftop
watch the stars so bright
on summer nights
i could sing in the streets
without a look from a stranger
with out comments or remarks
i could be me, if i were free
i could watch the snow flakes fall
fall from the tree`s like the orange
and red leaves on autumn afternoon's
i could watch the rain
slap against my window pane
i could sit there for days
i could be me if i were free